advice for the graduate

today my baby brother graduated from college. (one year early!) we went to RI on saturday for his grad. party, but i was sadly not able to attend the ceremony today. instead, i instructed my students to give him some graduation "advice." here it is:

"Have a good time picking a job and pick it wisely! Have Fun!"

"Some advice is focusing on what you studied and look for good jobs that you like"

"Try to look for a good job go with your heart"

"Get a job, and a house"

"I would tell you to get a job as a teacher like Mrs. Alberts" (awwwwwww!)

"If he's really good at something educational, maybe he could look for a teaching job"

"Try to look for a good jod" (jod. right-o)

annnnnnnnnnnnd my absolute favorite:

" Find a girlfriend. Pay for bills" [hahaha!!!]

CUTE lunch boxes

all my baby students in japan had little bento boxes they ate their lunch from. when i first came home (almost 3 years ago!!), i was itching for something similar, but never spent money on one.

well this post brought that itch back to the front of my brain. if i have kids, i'm TOTALLY making them lunches in these darling boxes.

ohmygosh:yum

i'm never buying salsa in a can again.

not after making this recipe. and having the entire process (including clean-up) done in 15 minutes flat. and seeing there's enough salsa in one batch to feed an army (or my handsome/ famished husband).

i've linked to pioneer woman's site to give her credit/ so you can see her pictures, but i also wanted to include the recipe below:

• 1 can (28 Ounce) Whole Tomatoes With Juice
• 2 cans (10 Ounce) Rotel (diced Tomatoes And Green Chilies) [*I used 1 can b/c Joel isn't a huge fan of major spice!]
  
• ¼ cups Chopped Onion
• 1 clove Garlic, Minced
• 1 whole Jalapeno, Quartered And Sliced Thin [*I used half the jalapeno for above reason]
  
• ¼ teaspoons Sugar
• ¼ teaspoons Salt
• ¼ teaspoons Ground Cumin
• ½ cups Cilantro (more To Taste!)
• ½ whole Lime Juice [*not necessary, in my opinion]
  

Preparation Instructions

Note: this is a very large batch. Recommend using a 12-cup food processor, or you can process the ingredients in batches and then mix everything together in a large mixing bowl. [*I did it in two batches, as suggested. no problem-o]

Combine whole tomatoes, Rotel, onion, jalapeno, garlic, sugar, salt, cumin, lime juice, and cilantro in a blender or food processor. Pulse until you get the salsa to the consistency you’d like—I do about 10 to 15 pulses. Test seasonings with a tortilla chip and adjust as needed.

Refrigerate salsa for at least an hour. Serve with tortilla chips or cheese nachos.

letter to parents

this week i've been so so so mad at my students. i come home every day muttering about their laziness, disrespect, mean spirits, and bad attitudes. they don't know how to play. they are incredibly hurtful. they moan & groan about every single little thing. and MY biggest issue: they do not know how to admit their mistakes.

while driving away this afternoon i realized that a lot of their issues stem from deeper issues, often the fact that their parents are also lazy, disrespectful, and unkind. thus, i've written an open letter to my students' parents... maybe next week i'll just link them here instead of sending something home that they'll just toss in the recycling.
______________________________________________
dear parents,

hi, it's me. the stressed-out teacher of your beloved offspring. remember, the one you met at the beginning of the year? what, you didn't show up for parents' night? oh, right. okay well never mind.

it's me, the one who sends your child's behavior chart home every night marked with big red lines. those mean their behavior sucked. oh, you didn't read the letter i sent home at the beginning of the year outlining our classroom expectations & the consequences that would follow? alright, never mind. don't worry, i got this... i'll just supervise your child in detention. during my 25 minute lunch period. every day.

hey there, it's still me. the one who stands with your son every day until the very last minute because you never ever ever pick him up on time. i'm the one who holds your daughter's late pass in one hand while simultaneously herding 21 other loud children into the classroom. every single morning.
do you have any idea that your daughter talks behind her classmates' backs constantly? do you know that she rounds up all the other little girls and teaches them inappropriate words she learns from youtube videos? do you have a clue that she whines every time i give a direction? do you realize that SHE is responsible for her own actions & that it's not another student's fault every time?

one of you told me, "it's so hard to keep up with all three kids' homework every night." HA! try getting 22 children to copy down their homework correctly and bring home the right books. or try going over a math test that 1/3 of the class bombed while at least 6 students walk around the room getting tissues, "borrowing" my scissors, and throwing away who-the-hay knows what in the trash can...

did you ever think that maybe i don't enjoy asking your daughter, "are you working on your project in class while i give you the time?" and having her respond, "no, i'm doing it at home." THEN a month later having you call the principal on me because your daughter got a C in social studies due to failing the project she refused to work on in class?

remember when your kids came to school thinking their teacher was named "ms. jump" and were surprised when it was me instead? guess what: i got the job one week before school & had almost nothing to start with. did you know that i regularly admit my mistakes to your children only to have them say to my face (loudly), "well duh," or "yeah, it's a little late."

have you gotten a clue after 8 months that i am head over heels in love with most of the students in my class & that my heart breaks for them multiple times a day? and that i HATE when they are mean to each other & i hate when they cry out of frustration or failure or hurt? and i hate the fact that many of their sweet faces leave school every day glimpsing my angry face due to the kids whose constant bad behavior ruins the 10 minutes from 2:50 to 3pm?

do you have any idea how much i can't wait to get rid of these children & yet how i am bombarded by the reality that i'll think of them constantly. all. summer. long.

"quotations practice"

(note: i'm not pregnant. though the following sentences written by my student make me laugh so much i was willing to risk the entire blog world getting the idea that i am. don't worry/celebrate. i'm not.) now... on to those sentences:

1. "I just found out i'm pregnant!" Mrs. Alberts exclaimed.
2. "I'm hungry!" Lala yelled.
3. "Are you serious? Oh my goodness I'm gonna be a father," Mr. Alberts whispered.
4. "Can y'all worry about your baby later I'm hungry aunt Kelly," whined Lala.
5. "Sorry hon, where would you like to eat," Mrs. Alberts responded.
6. "Mcdonalds. No Burger King. Wait, even better, Applebees!" Lala screamed.
7. "Applebees it is," Mr. Alberts said.
8. "Wait, I lost my appetite. Let's talk about the baby," Lala explained.
9. "Wait, what?" Mr. and Mrs. Alberts said confusly.
10. "What's his name?" Lala questioned.

HA! I seriously died laughing when I read these.

dinner of champions

i stayed at school till 4:53 this afternoon. i never stay much past four, but things are getting CRAZY busy at work and j's at a track meet till late tonight.

on my way home i found myself absolutely starving. for a few minutes i debated with myself over whether to stop at chick-fil-a or just drive home to find something in the fridge. i just went shopping two days ago, for pete's sake. plus, the in-laws are coming on friday so i stocked up on good stuff.

the second i entered the house, i spread spaghetti sauce, pepperoni, and mozz. cheese on an english muffin. while it was under the broiler, i made guacamole using 1/2 of the avocados i bought on monday. (i'm trying a new trick to make guac. last longer: only put the tomatoes into the part i'm eating at that very second. i think the tomato juice makes it turn brown!)

*all that to say, i'm so glad i didn't stop for food. my meal was a lot cheaper and probably slightly healthier. plus, i can type on my computer while i eat!

this new name

so i've had my new name for almost 6 months now (whoa, that fact must be worth another post in itself!) & yesterday on my way home i started thinking about it a little...

mrs. alberts seems normal. i hear it seriously 12 trillion times a day. plus, i started training my kids even before i got married so the transition wouldn't be all that drastic for them. it's actually becoming sort of normal to hear joel's students call me mrs. alberts, too.

signing my name is no problem. the word "alberts" is getting a little more natural to write in cursive. although it takes me slightly longer than "nelson," i'm getting the hang of it.

the thing that gets me every time is introducing myself verbally. "hi, i'm kelly alberts."

[wait, what?!] after 26 years of saying my name, now i've got a new one. i'm someone just a little bit different than the girl i've been my whole life. most of all, i'm someone's wife.

pretty mind blowing, i'd say.