reflections on a ring

i'm taking a quick break from studying for my algebra final [dad, don't tease about tests!] to share some of the thoughts running through my busy brain lately.

this morning i helped sam lay mulch for a couple hours. before starting, i took off my engagement ring for the first time since i put it on my finger. i immediately noticed that my finger felt different and caught myself rubbing the spot where my ring should be with my thumb. [& the second i washed the grime off my hands, i put it back on again!]

yesterday j. was holding my hand while we walked through pennypack. all of a sudden he looked at my hand with a shocked face! i quickly reassured him that my ring is worn on my other hand.

it's bizarre how much this ring has already become a part of me. a few months ago when we first started talking about the future, i sometimes thought "i don't care about a stupid ring! i just wish we could move forward with the reality that we're getting married" and "why does a ring on my finger automatically mean we're officially engaged?"

and i still basically feel the same way: engagement rings aren't necessary. except now i have a slightly different perspective. to me, the ring represents j's attention to detail and his desire to show me he cares. it represents a financial sacrifice he made and the risk he took in asking for my hand.

and feeling it on my finger causes me to think about him intentionally. don't get me wrong, i thought about him all the time even before i was wearing the ring [heck, for the last 9 months basically]. but now that we're "official", i notice my ring and dwell on the fact that he's my teammate, my friend, my future husband...