on not making the small things big

When we were doing pre-marital counseling, our friends Duane & Julie gave us a ton of valuable advice. We are incredibly grateful for the way they guided, encouraged, and challenged us before we tied the knot. One thing Duane shared stood out to me the most: He said Julie doesn't make small things big. That really resonated with me.

 Joel sometimes gets home later than I'd prefer from work, especially from cross-country practice. It's never his fault. He's always considerate of my dinner prep and my heart. But he can't control how quickly things get wrapped up and whether parents pick up their kids on time. On more than one occasion he has politely excused himself so I wouldn't be kept waiting. He shows me incredible love in this area. But it's still hard. It's  frustrating to have dinner get cold on the stove.It's hard to be at home waiting, uncertain what he's doing or how long it'll be.

Here's the thing.

I can choose to get upset, offended, or mad. I can choose to beat him up emotionally (when he already feels terrible for keeping me waiting!). Or. I can choose to remember the truth and I can welcome him home with love. I can choose to have our home be a place where Joel feels loved and supported, a place where his work is valued and where relationships are more important than schedules.

I'll admit it again: this is hard. I'm very bad at it. My heart is regularly sinful and selfish. But I'm going to get better at making the right choice. For my marriage. And for my darling, patient, hilarious husband.