... Jealousy

Last week I was feeling sorry for myself because Joel wasn't home when I got home at 7pm. He had a track meet that ran late and I was waiting to cook dinner. I finally decided to go for a run so I wouldn't just sit around and waste time online. I put on my shorts and headed out around the neighborhood. About 6 minutes in, I ran into some friends of ours who just had a baby girl. They had their toddler in one stroller and the newborn in another.

When I commented that Joel was gone so I had decided to go for a run, my friend casually said, "Oh, that's awesome. I'm so jealous."

My immediate thought was: jealous of me!? You have two beautiful babies and you are walking around leisurely with your husband in this nice weather. I'm running. Alone. Without my husband and without any babies on the horizon.

I struggled for most of my run with the idea that my life sounded appealing to her. I finally decided that she surely loves her life and is quite content. But she doesn't have the same freedom I have. She can't put on her shorts and go for a quick run before dinner. Her season of life is just different.

Even though I was actually jealous of her, I prayed for contentment in my freedom, in my season, which is this one. Right here, right now. And which is truthfully pretty wonderful.

(Edit: the title of this post comes from a very old story. When my friends Ann & Mandy & I went to Okinawa for spring break 2008 we met two guys and traveled with them for a couple days. In some text conversation- can't remember the details- one of them wrote "...jealousy" and we thought it was hilarious! So now whenever I think about being jealous, I say that to myself "Dot dot dot Jealousy" Ha!)