On waiting

This is the season of advent. The season of waiting for Christmas, a celebration of Christ's birth; ultimately a season of waiting for Christ to come again. The things we've been learning about waiting are hard, heart-wrenching lessons. We are waiting a lot lately, it seems.

We wait for me to get a "real" teaching job again someday. We wait for Joel's dream of being an educational leader to come true. We wait for our opportunity to raise children. We wait to spend time with family at Christmas. We wait to see the fruits of our labors as we invest in students. We wait for our neighbors to respond to our invitations. We wait for friends to be healed of disease and devastation.

We wait for the hope & redemption that we believe will come when Jesus returns. We wait, knowing the awful hardships of this world, as evidenced by the Sandy Hook school massacre last week, are not going to heal quickly or easily. We wait, knowing that we are not in control and that God is good.

We try to live well, loving others, making the most of each moment. We plan quality lessons. We invest in our church. We call our friends & family. We laugh together. We sleep. We  walk around our neighborhood and take in the sparkling lights. We pray. We hold hands. We talk and talk and talk. We make hard choices. We choose to not despair. We send resumes. We read God's word. We reflect on our waiting and what we have already learned through this season.

We wait, full of hope. Overwhelmed with joy.

2012: year in review

2012 has been quite a year! I just finished making a photo book that I'm excited to order sometime after Christmas. Though I didn't take quite as many photos as I wish I had, I still found some great ones to include in our second Alberts family history book.

Let's recap, shall we?

January
My parents came to visit for the long weekend. They won't be able to in 2013 because my mom will still be recovering from brutal foot surgery.
We had a cheap (but so fun!) date to the movies.
I quoted my darling, hilarious students.

February
I co-hosted my bffs bridal shower.
Joel & I had a getaway to Leesburg, VA.

March
We got two new doors upstairs, courtesy of Dad Alberts
My friends & I took Melissa downtown for a sweet, special bachelorette night.
Laura & Gaetano got married!

April
I made this cute little cafe curtain for our bathroom. 
I was matron of honor & gave a great speech in Melissa's wedding.

May
I made this cool DIY photo board for our room.
We had a bad bus ride.

June
A big shock to us: I lost my teaching job!
We traveled to Ireland. 

July
We went to Washington state, for the second time in two years. Gosh, it's gorgeous there!
Joel built some awesome shelves for our room.
We went to a Phillies game, had a few dates, and hung around home.
Lauren & Chris got married! On a farm!

August
We mourned my job loss. Again. And again.
I experienced great hope, joy, and confidence. 
Joel & I had a double date vacation with my mom & dad.
I blogged about marriage & not making the small things big.

September
I welcomed fall, here on the blog. 
I made a super cute wreath and decorated the house.
We had a fun date downtown.
An attempt to get started with budgeting.
I reflected on the beauty of my friendships.

October
I struggled seriously with my job loss, change, and understanding God's plan. 
Joel & Melissa took us on a beautiful hike.

We were blown away by God's provision: I got a part-time job teaching ESL!!!!
I turned 28. Reluctantly. And awkwardly. And covered with zits.
eShakti sent me a free dress to review on my blog!

November
I was suuuuuuuuuuper excited (and honored!) to be a guest on Words of Williams. 
Follow-up post: shopping from the farmers' market.
This IS the plan. God's plan. 
I fell in love. With the Watoto Children's Choir.
We celebrated two amazing years of marriage!!!

December
I documented a day in my life. 
Really feeling my 28-ness.

Dear 2012, you have been a bittersweet year. Full of challenge, frustration, doubt, growth, joy, support, love, and grace. 

Bring on 2013!!

well said, well said

Life in our family jumps rapidly from I'm-way-too-busy-I-can't-stand-it to I-wish-I-had-a-few-more-fun-things-planned.

Lately we've have been a relatively nice balance of both. Fortunately for our marriage, Joel is my perfect complement. He's more introverted and usually re-charges by being quiet and being at home. It's been such a precious learning experience to recognize the beauty of both staying in some Friday nights and spending almost an entire Saturday painting the Jr. High room @ church because it needs to get done.

Every once in a while, I get annoyed at myself. For not taking more photos. For not updating my blog. For not being super social & accepting every invitation I get. For not calling my friends often enough. For not planning fun get-togethers. For not being spontaneous. For not taking time to rest. For this & that and those things, too.

So reading this post really resonated with me:
"It's not because I don't love other people that I don't say yes to all the things that crop up, but it's because I want to love well the ones who are already holding my yes. "

what happens when you're 28

You'll understand the value of precious sleep. You'll stop taking it for granted and your heart will break for your sad, sleepy husband when he only gets 3 hours (or less!!!).

You will be slightly hurt when your little brother yells at you for nagging him (& temporarily think about having your big, strong husband kick his butt on your behalf!) before you remember that you were nagging & you only see each other twice a year & it's really not worth it.

Sometimes you'll really want to have a drink of Coke on your way from one job to the next. You'll know it's terrible for your(caffeine! high fructose corn syrup!) but it only costs $1. So sometimes you'll make a hard right into that drive-thru.

A few of your carefully prepared meals will flop. A few will be amazing. And most of them will be just right: stomach-filling & conversation-inducing.

You might love the show "Parenthood" with all its messy loudness. Who knew it could enter your dreams and your late-night chats on a regular basis?

Your Facebook obsession might fade as you realize that people you aren't friends with can be far more interesting than your "friends'" stupid profile pics and trite comments. That's why you should probably start reading more blogs. Oh, wait.

Idea from here. Via here.

a day in my life

Lately I've been thinking I want to document this season in our life. Even though it's stressful and awkward and uncertain, I hope some day to look back and remember vividly the way God worked. The things we learned. The joy we found. The way we figured it out. Joel and I, together.

So, I outlined what it looks like to be working three part-time jobs: before/after care, subbing, and teaching ESL. Paychecks are inconsistent, hours vary, and the settings are all quite unique.

For three weeks straight I didn't get called to sub at all. It was a frustrating time, including an entire week where the district was closed for hurricane Sandy and nobody worked. Then the next week I got specifically requested for a classroom, and last week I've gotten called twice. Out of the three days I'm available to sub.

Every morning we get up at 5:50. I'm out the door by 6:40, either dressed professionally or wearing my scrubbiest hoodie/jeans-combo that I'll change into running clothes later. If I'm subbing, I stay at morning care until 7:55, when I walk the middle schoolers to the auditorium and report to the office for my assignment. My subbing day looks totally different, depending on who I'm subbing for. Sometimes it's a 5th or 6th grade homeroom which means lots of students, lots of management, and two free periods. Other times it's for a instructional support or a specialist (music, etc.), which is a slightly easier day and involves supporting classroom teachers, working with small groups, and, unfortunately, lunch duty.

On the days I'm teaching ESL (Wednesday & Thursday), I stay at morning care until 8:40, then drive to Joel's school and teach/work with the students from 9 to 2. Then I drive back to the middle school for after care (3 to 6:30ish).

These days are soooooo different from my days the past two years. We eat dinner late. I make simpler meals & do a lot of prep work on the days I don't get called to sub. I have leisurely mornings on some days and super hectic mornings on others. Nothing like a phone call at 6:20 to speed up the getting-ready routine!

I'm trying to relish the fact that I only have to do two days worth of lesson plans. And that I rarely have to grade papers. Ha. I don't miss that.

On our two-year anniversary

For the longest time I couldn't understand when people would say, "I love my husband more today than on the day I married him."

 

That's crazy. On my wedding day I was hilariously, foolishly, unbelievably head-over-heels in love. I was completely nuts about Joel and couldn't wait another second to be his wife. It was hard for me to imagine loving him more. I knew he was the man God had brought into my life and I knew I didn't want anyone else.

But, as is often true, I learned how little I understood. I learned that my scope on November 20, two years ago, was quite small. My heart had so much room to grow. I had a lot of love to develop and a lot to learn.

 

 

This last year of marriage has been so sweet. Bitter, yes, because of the pain, fear, and loss we've experienced together. But 150% sweet, too.

This last year I've cried a lot and Joel has learned to comfort me kindly and with patience. We have mis-communicated a few times this year and Joel has spoken softly and clearly. We've had adventures all over the country and the world (Ireland, Washington, Maine, Michigan, Rhode Island, Ohio!) and Joel has figured out how neurotic and silly I can be. We've spent many hours in the car, chatting about our dreams. Joel has repeated the same things over and over until I believe them to be true. You are wonderful. God has a plan. I love you. We are in this together. You are a great teacher. I think you are beautiful. We have great friends & a wonderful family. God loves you. I love you. You are good with kids. You are a kind friend. God will provide.

This last year Joel has remained calm in the midst of my unnecessary freak-outs. He has watched 20+ episodes of Parenthood with me. He has analyzed and re-analyzed the things I just couldn't come to terms with. He has prayed for me. He has held me. He has teased me when I was taking myself too seriously. He has loved my family and he has taught me how to be a more selfless daughter and sister. He has worked some long long long days and has come home with a hug, smile, and a listening ear.

Thanks, Joel, for choosing me, and for loving me unbelievably well. I'm crazy for you.

 P.S. I wrote about our 1-year anniversary here.

I don't live like that

So yesterday morning Joel ran the Philadelphia half-marathon. At 7am. Which meant arriving to his starting corral at 6am. And leaving at 5am. And getting up at 4am. After a restless night where he didn't sleep well and I woke up multiple times feeling anxious for him.

Afterwards we came home. Joel napped. I attempted baking & didn't get out of my pjs. Around 3pm he left to walk to church to help his friend set up for a concert. When he came home, Joel said, "So do you want to go to the concert at 6:30?"

I was surprised. I was wearing my PJs. He had just run over 13 miles and gotten about 2 hours of sleep. I was still wearing my PJs while attempting some unsuccessful Pinterest recipes. Ha.

Anyway, we went. With some cash in my wallet in case they took a love offering for the kids. And oh my gosh, my heart was broken. The children are totally precious. Their accents! Their white smiles. Those costumes. Those sweet sweet voices. And their dance moves!

The thing that shook me the most wasn't their sad stories, although those were wicked sad. Many are orphans or come from single-parent homes where money is really tight. They've come to live at the Watoto Children's home and have been sponsored by people around the world who help pay for their education, food, etc. etc. What shook me was their joy. Their pure excitement for life and for God. I was humbled and convicted. I don't sing like that. I don't live like that.

I asked Joel to buy me their CD for Christmas. Ha.